Bullcrap Statistics

On the back cover of the January 26th issue of The New Yorker, There is an Allstate advertisement which features a mock Parent-Teen Driving Contract. Within this contract Allstate employs statistical evidence that is meant to tie teenage drivers to automobile accidents.

A statistical comparison is given, and the teen and his/her parent is supposed to fill out some sort of consensual agreement. In my absolute hatred of meaningless, malleable statistical information, I've offered agreements for a few of the comparisons that teen drivers can make with their parents.

1. In 2005, speed related crashes accounted for 44% of fatalities among 15-20 year olds.

Agreement: I will only speed 66% of the time.

2. Half the teens that died in car crashes in 2005 were killed between 3 PM and midnight. Check your local teen driving curfews.

Agreement: I won't come home until after midnight, maybe 2 AM.

3. According to a recent study, the presence of just one more male teen in a car doubles the chance of a fatal crash.

Agreement for boys: I will have as many girls as possible in my car at all times.
Agreement for girls: I will become a lesbian.

4. Talking on a cell phone while driving gives you the reaction time of a 70 year old.

Agreement: If I ever see anyone driving who looks older than 70, I will alert the authorities immediately.