Lost in Translation

Rummaging through my photo album from Japan, I thought it would be funny to post some pictures I took of random shops/signs that had wacky names. Let the slide show begin!


"Fullahead"
I don't know why this was funny to me. Must be because of a slight sexual reference. Still not sure yet.




My friend Steve Salera acting like such a "Fuctard." This was actually a place where you could get a nice expensive pair of shoes.



"The Happy Cock" is a club where the creepiest foreign guys in all of Western Japan would come to find equally creepy foreign girls. While the rest of my body was having a good time, my genitalia certainly was not happy with the quality of women that frequented the place.



"Goo." Probably funny to me for another sexual reference. This was also strategically placed right after "The Happy Cock."



I appreciate that the owners of this karaoke place in Nagato decided to show respect to my hometown of "Atlanta" by giving us a shout out.



In true "Atlanta" fashion, me and my buddy Luke pose like gangstas getting ready to do all sorts of hoodrat stuff. James' disembodied head floats mysteriously behind us..



We all remember the previously mentioned brand of whiskey called "Black Nikka."



Walking around a district in Tokyo while looking for my capsule hotel, I found a place called "Super Nikka." This is obviously funny to me because its so close to being a racial epithet.



That's all I have for now.

Hattie McDaniel

I went to CVS to buy face moisturizer and Q-tips, two seemingly random but very necessary items, I've come to discover. When I got to the front of the line, the cashier asked if I had a CVS card. I said No. Then without batting an eye she pulled a membership application form from underneath the register, scanned the new card, and gave me all the paperwork to fill out later.

I was confused.

I said, "Excuse me madam, but if its that easy to become a member and get CVS discounts, why even bother with the cards?"

"Whachoo talkin' bout," she asked.

I answered.

In more words or less, I made it obvious that to me it seems that if any bipedal creature walks through the door, they can get a discount card. Why not just screw the discount cards altogether and just give everyone the damn discount.

But then again, whats the purpose of the damn discount? It seems that if the store's willing to slash prices for certain items to make them attractive to people, why not just cut the bullcrap and price items for what they're really worth?

If I'm a member of the store and I can get a 2% discount on every purchase--one of the perks of using the card--why can't you just cut all the prices in the store by the same amount? Your membership club doesn't strike me as particularly exclusive, so what's the deal, seriously?

"Isn't that nonsensical," I said to the burly woman after explaining things to her.

"You know, you right. But ah' guess it must be some advertising thang.. make people feel special even tho it don't mean nothin'," she said with a slick urban accent.

Damn!! Good answer!!! Before I knew it I was shaking my head in agreement wondering why this woman wasn't working in PR or at an advertising firm. Maybe if she didn't sound like a ghetto Hattie McDaniel from Gone with the Wind she might achieve loftier ambitions.

Ambulation

I saw something on the street today that made me stop and wonder.

Ever find yourself walking in one direction, then suddenly realize you should be going in the opposite direction, but you are too chicken-shit to pull a 180 degree turn in front of passersby? The idea is that you don't want people who see you doing this to think that you're crazy. I often get this feeling.

Whenever this happens to me, I walk while tracing out the path of a giant square/circle, depending on how lazy I feel, and coolly change direction as I blend in with the surrounding crowd. To my knowledge, no one notices my clever trick.

Today however, I saw a fellow walking towards me who stopped abruptly, who then turned around and started walking in the other direction.

I thought to myself, "Hey wait a minute, that guy's not crazy.. He was just walking the wrong way. And now he's not.. Good for you buddy!"

So from now on I'm going to start changing direction wherever and whenever I feel like it, if going the wrong way down a busy sidewalk.

Paintings

Here are some more paintings I made while at work...

"Horse-Drawn Cart with Hay"



"Madonna and Child"



"Bavarian Wood"

A Bulimic Amoeba

This is the condensed version of my cartoon...

Digs

The housing I've been afforded is adequate by my standards, which for some people could fluctuate dramatically either way..

In order to give you a decent idea of the dimensions, take a gander at this photo.



As you can see, with outstretched arms I am able of covering the entire width by touching both walls of my tiny little room. A small twin bed fits long ways, and I also have a similarly small desk and closet. After I unpacked and sorted through my meager supply of personal items, I've noticed that the space is a little cramped. Because the apartment is located in a fantastic locale, however, I do not feel as though my situation is at all intolerable. On the contrary, with a couple of personal touches, such as my banner reminiscent of the Japanese wartime flag given to me by Misuzu-san, I feel quite at home.



By a stroke of either forgetfulness or good luck, the previous tenant left a Chinese lantern in the room, which when turned on, emits a warm, radiant beam of crimson that engulfs the room like a mysterious early-morning fog..



It sometimes puts me in the mood to play extremely sensuous music on my guitar, or as demonstrated in this photo, occasionaly practice the ancient art of meditation while looking like an idiot.