Anachronisms Part II

I’ve yet to meet anyone who uses the words ‘high school’ and ‘enjoyable’ in the same sentence except to describe the complete lack of joy one feels during those four years of post-pubescent awkwardness. Some of us spent our time being cool, trying to be cool, acting like being cool didn’t matter, actually understanding that it didn’t matter, or playing Magic during lunch. The only other time I remember feeling so noticeably conscious of my self-image was in a dream when I was naked in front of strangers. In high school we avoided situations that would’ve drawn unnecessary attention to ourselves.

These thoughts all came back to me when I saw “The Tank”.


There was much anxiety floating around the staff room when the teachers found out two handicapped, wheelchair-ridden 1st year students were accepted into my school for the new academic year. My school has 4 stories and no elevator. Before the students arrived my school petitioned the Prefectural Board of Education for funds to build either an elevator or an electric lift so that the students could reach all levels of the school without difficulty. They were denied either. My school was left with no other option than to buy ‘The Tank.”

After I witnessed a few demonstrations of how it worked, I was numb; I didn’t know what to make up in my mind. In order to use it, a helper must scoop the student while sitting in the wheelchair, lock them into place, tilt them 45 degrees in the air, and initiate forward motion with the trigger that’s on the handle. The tread on the belt grips the edge of each stair and slowly propels the student upward while the machine makes a gurgling, mechanical sound. It works the same way on the descent except the student must now tilt downward, arresting that same feeling when at the top of the Freefall at Six Flags once you are about to fall 10 stories at an acceleration of 10 meters per second per second.


All of this is done in full view of the student body busily shuffling up and down the same main staircase. The way is now impeded because of this bulky object, and the congestion in traffic must only heighten the feeling that people are staring at you. I guess it’s a shame the government can’t fund schools that have special needs. I’ve noticed that Japanese high school students far surpass American high school students in sense and sensibility, so maybe being handicapped isn't quite as bad in Japan as it would be in an American high school.