Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Most Splendid Arm Chair


There she lies in all her hidden glory and unrivaled magnificence. Why am I wasting time discussing my experience with a lounge chair you might ask? This chair was simply the most splendid arm chair I've ever had the good fortune to enjoy in all my short life. Tucked away in the corner of teacher's lounge at Nago High School, basked in the single golden beam of sunshine that poured in through the window, upon entering the room, it was some sort of divine intervention.

As I sat down its as if the chair welcomed me with a friendly hug. The plush leather, heated from the sunlight, warmed my whole body, and the cushion gave just enough so that one couldn't help but think the most pleasant thoughts when one chooses to sit in such a chair of such incredible upholstery.

The arms of this chair were somewhat low, but sturdy and stiff, and they were just the perfect length to allow for my hands to comfortably dangle off the ends. The back seemed low at first, but it rose just enough so that when I tilted my head back, its cushion caught my head as one would catch an egg with a feather pillow, not to mention my head was in prime resting condition, one which wouldn't leave my neck stiff at the conclusion of a nap should I choose to take one.


And nap I did. Having 2 periods (a solid hour and a half) before my next lesson, I decided to close my eyes and see how things would transpire. I was not especially wanting of sleep, but as my eyelids closed, in a few milliseconds I fell into the deepest of slumbers. Second only to the profound design of this chair was the kind of sleep I was able to receive, as if it were merely a token of good grace and a testiment to the majestic benevolence it was capable of bestowing.

I was in a good spirits for the remainder of the day. Not even teaching a class about Halloween to a room of 30 or so of the most unenthusiastic Japanese students could ward off such good apparitions. Basically, think of that scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where our hero must choose the one cup from amongst all the guilded and ornate chalices presented before him that can grant the gift of eternal life. Had those been arm chairs instead of chalices, you'd be sure to find this chair resting modestly amid various other kinds of inferior intrisic quality. You can bet our hero, after making his decision, would hear the old knight utter the same words as before: "You chose...wisely..."

Saturday, October 20, 2007

A New Direction

I'm introducing a new augmentation to this blog-writing project, and I hope the reader(s) will enjoy it. This is the first of a series of memoirs I'm entitling rather insipidly, Things That Make Me Laugh.


Things that make me laugh: Suspected Centenarians















For the record, I haven't actually confirmed whether or not these elderly people I've been acquainted with are in fact centenarians, but keep in mind that throughout the world Japan has one of the largest populations of them, around 30,000.

A Strange Encounter

Walking down a street towards a suspected centenarian, our glances not yet having crossed paths. When they manage to look up as we approach one another, they take one look into my eyes, and just as quickly turn their heads away. At this point, its almost as if you can see the exact moment at which some kind of alarm goes off in their heads, as they look again with much more intensity and sometimes even the blind fear of a sibling as you sneak up from behind in order to terrorize them. I sometimes get the urge to put up my hands in a calming fashion and say, "Its alright [sir or madam], I'm not going to hurt you." Hardly anyone in my town speaks any form of English, so I have no idea if they would interpret my gesture as an act of kindness or as an aggressive maneuver to subdue and have my way with them. I just give them the same blind stare I always employ when a certain social situation unnerves me.

Mobile Centenarians

Suspected centenarians on mopeds. I don't know why, and I hope that it doesn't sound chauvinistic, but especially the female suspected centenarians. It sort of awakens in me the idea of a Japanese version of your friend's badass grandma who owns a Harley, and who sports a tattoo of a skull and crossbones on her forearm that she got last week.

Graceful Maneuvering

Riding my bike on a narrow sidewalk in the direction of a suspected centenarian. As the gap between us closes, I witness them with the grace and expertise of a world-class gymnast, deftly swing one leg over the frame of the bike, and stand with the other on just one pedal, all while wearing the same stern expression on their face as they pass me without any difficulty, while I have to pretend as if it wasn't the most amazing thing that I've ever seen in my life. I'm assuming they must learn this technique in some class at the community center, and I have to admit that I'm considering doing the same. If you ever get to see it, you will be as buffeted as I was.

Scavengers Waiting

Going to the supermarket around 6:30 PM, and seeing a flock of SCs (for the benefit of the reader, I will from herein abbreviate the term suspected centenarian, and replace it with SC), hovering near the bento aisle. They wait patiently, licking their lips methodically and popping their jaws like hyenas waiting for a group of lions to finish feasting on a fresh kill. After they get the signal from up above, one of the supermarket managers walks down the aisle and places yellow 50% off stickers on most of the perishable pre-made meals. At times its like watching brokers in a stock exchange trying to buy or sell futures contracts after the agricultural commissioner announces the projected yield of the fresh orange crop. Keep in mind they are SCs, so its not always that dramatic, but you get the idea.

No Point in Asking

Finally, talking one-on-one with an SC. Sometimes I have no other choice. I'll be waiting for a train, unsure if its the one I'm suppposed to take, so I ask as politely as I know how, using the correct word endings when speaking with one's superiors outside of one's own familiar social group. Despite the fact that I don't look Japanese, and although I mention many times I can't understand them because they are talking too fast, the SC will continue to speak without so much as reducing the rate at which they produce from their mouths those strange staccatoed syllables.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Man vs Sake

This weekend a few of us decided to go to the annual sake festival held in Saijo, a district of Hiroshima. After paying the 1000 yen ($10) entrance fee, we were given a small sake cup, and we had about 7 hours to sample all the different kinds of sake from all over Japan. If it means anything, my all-time favorite was the sake from the Chugoku region, number 132. I must admit after a few hours, it all ended up tasting the same regardless. The following photos recap my travels in the wonderful city of Hiroshima.


As I mentioned earlier, we were given this cup upon our entrance into the sake tasting area. Although it may look small and harmless, it has the power to bring grown men to their hands and knees in drunken humility, begging for mercy.













This is a shot of the sake-tasting area. Crowds of people gather to form large but quickly moving queues as they taste their way all across the different regions of Japan.














Me and my verbose partner in crime, Shak, about half in the bag. Although he appears much shorter than I, we are roughly equal in height. I was standing on a nearby ledge during this photo, which is why I look much taller.













We weren't the only ones to succumb to the almighty power of Japanese sake. This young man was so involved in choosing which sake he would sample next, we had to inform him that he was carrying around a dead baby, which no doubt fell victim to severe child negligence.

















Waiting for the train to take us back to Hiroshima proper so we could investigate the night life. Look into my eyes, for only they can tell whether or not I emerged unscathed from my tumultuous battle with this infamous Japanese alcohol.













On the train taking us back into the city, a few of us just needed to lie down for a bit. Mr. Spiller, the gentleman from Wales, had no choice but to find a suitable position that would better enable him to deal with the ravages of what was going on inside his body.














I survived. The next day was a trip to the site commemorating those who perished when America dropped the first Atomic Bomb during World War II. Because of the way the bomb was constructed and deployed, those directly below the blast sustained the least amount of damage, including this building. It was left unrestored so that one can get a better idea of just how powerful the blast was.













Daryl from Thunder Bay, Canada, and myself posing in front of Hiroshima Castle.

















In the castle, they have this section where you can try on a traditional Japanese samurai hakama and kimono. Sadly, I could not take this photo with one of the katanas in the display cases, but I still look well-prepared to defend the village from the other hostile clans.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Kobe Beef

At last, I've arrived at the spot in this blog-writing endeavor I knew I would eventually reach; its inevitable that one day I would fall short of blog ideas, although I am never short of adventures..

This post will be a recap of my weekend in Kobe. Adventures include in chronological order: kobe beef, a flower garden, a dance festival, a very large buddha, sumptuous food throughout, a proper Japanese night out on the town that lasted well into the morning, lodgings at a 24-hour internet cafe, a sake brewery, and a night bus back to my town. Here are some photos.



After I get off the Shinkansen, I find the nearest Sushi-bar. This proves to be no easy task as I walk down endless side streets like a rat in a maze. In the end, all my walking worked up a massive appetite, and I ate heartily.














In the morning, a promenade on a small rock island and a lunch; my first--and certainly not my last--acquaintance with Kobe beef.















A huge buddha statue facing the main island, with right hand up in a welcoming salute. I am reminded of the Colossus of Rhodes.














A stroll through a Japanese flower garden with beautiful Kobe in the distance.















A Japanese dance festival, another delicious meal--which was in no way inferior to previous ones--and a shot of Sannomiya district, Kobe
















A reminder as to why my English skills are sought after, and where I slept for less than $10 bucks a night.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Scenes from a Karaoke Nightmare

The English word for kara is empty, and for oke its orchestra, but there must be some duality that exists in the definition, for there is something much deeper to be discovered about its meaning. There is serious study that needs to be done here. Its my opinion that a post-doctoral psychology or sociology graduate student should highly consider coming to small towns like mine, and conduct empirical research to analyze why karaoke is so prevalent. The following is my attempt to characterize and relate this intriguing Japanese obsession.

Here I will attempt to summarize the rich cultural history of a civilization that dates back to an epoch coinciding with classical antiquity itself. I will be succinct and brief, using a mere paragraph, partly because I am lazy, and I do not feel as though I should conduct serious scholarly research on the matter; I also feel since my acquired knowledge thus far in life does not happen to possess an impressive command of the topic at hand, the information I will provide may well end up as contradictory, or self-debasing. If I limit myself to a few sentences, I think both enthusiasts and dilettantes of Japanese culture and history would be satisfied.

To put it concisely, Japan has been a country well known for its discipline and its propriety, and they have extended this austere livelihood for thousands of years. Only recently can their entry into Western civilization be recorded, after the Meiji restoration, and after the arrival of a certain influential American general by the name of Matthew Perry. After Perry so politely helped usher Japan into a new era of openness and economic interdependence with the rest of the modern world, and after a few briefs forays into the balance-of-power political scene that had occupied most of Europe since the Middle Ages, Japan is considered today as having emerged as one of the world powers.

In order to better express my interest in the matter, I will relate a past experience. On a particularly uneventful Saturday afternoon, I decided to take a nap on my couch. I don’t remember any dreams in particular, but near the end of my somnambulant state, I do remember hearing ghastly moans of bitterness and torment, something that sounded like the cries of those betrayed sailors that perished at the hands of the Scylla, something Odysseus himself said he would remember has one of the most wretched things he had ever known in his life. By the time I was completely awake, I realized that this awful music was not from my dream, but from the Karaoke bar next to my apartment. I thought about lying there for a bit longer, hoping to be granted a reprieve from full consciousnesses, but this simply was not possible. The man with the microphone was singing something dreadful, something that would be described as standing in complete and utter contrast to the word euphonious. Not only was the melody terribly bland and of banal origins, but the gentleman insisted on applying his own idiosyncrasy, a jarring and sadistically violent tremolo at the end of every verse of the song, which left my bones feeling as though they had been cut and bruised by every trough and crest of the dissonant sound waves he projected through the speakers. Perhaps I am too harsh, but I do know bad karaoke from awful karaoke. That lazy Saturday afternoon, I experienced yet another tier of karaoke, a phrase which I am currently in the process of coining, so please wait patiently for me to play around with the words, and see which combination will capture it best.

Besides this encounter, I have noticed that there are so many hole-in-the wall karaoke places in my town, one only need to wander down a quiet street during odd hours of the night, and you can faintly hear the lonely calls of a hundred or so wailing Japanese men and women from behind the walls and closed doors of a random bar or restaurant. It makes me wonder why this is the chosen method, along with the chronic consumption of large amounts of alcohol, that seems to be for the sake of having an emotional or spiritual release. So much propriety and modesty surely suppresses the soul in one way or another, and as hideous as it may end up coming out, perhaps this is the Japanese way of evening out the humors of the body, allowing the soul to stretch its arms and legs, only to be cramped again into a body that recognizes that only hard-work and discipline will ultimately improve the society. Be careful with these last words, for I have heard them used in much more foreboding contexts. Interpret them however you may wish, but I only use them here to ascribe a condition to what few people I hear—although I do hear them— howling melancholy songs into the dark night.


Omura-sensei (the rice field owner) trying his hand at a rendition of haru no hana (flowers of spring).














As an American, I recognize that we have several methods of releasing ourselves from rigors of life, some of which are healthy, and others of which are dangerous addictions. The Japanese karaoke experience is both haunting and venerable, and I hope that before I depart, I can acquire an understanding that explains this strange affinity for what would be considered by most classical music experts as melodic blasphemy. I hope to bring this back with me to America, and perhaps offer whomever I may meet in the future a chance to see the Japanese preferred method of taking a load off.